"Can I run away to somewhere beautiful where nobody knows my name?"
Camila Cabello
Sometimes, I have these moods/daydreams/fantasies. It sounds weird. I know. Don't leave just yet. Hear me out first.
The point is that I've lived in one state for 23 years and counting. Don't get me wrong. It's been great, but I've always wanted more. Including Alabama, I've been to three states total. All being in the South. I've never been on a plane. A train. A subway. None. Natta. Zilch. I've only traveled by car, and I guess bus if you wanna count the school bus or the transit buses at UA.
I know. I know. You're shocked (or shook as the kids say these days). Just know this wasn't my choice, and I still have hope for the future.
When I was growing up, I never considered my town as a "paper town." I didn't know what the phrase meant until I read John Green's book and saw the movie adaptation. Almost everyone I grew up with wanted to escape our town because it was "too boring," "lame," etc. etc. Yet, most of the people who were complaining are the same ones who are still there. No tea. No shade. Just facts.
I loved my town. I still do. It was small but not too small. We had so many people move there because of the nearby military base. It was a cozy, little family-oriented spot. To this day, I still appreciate where I grew up. It's a piece of me. I'm definitely not the same person I was when I lived there, but that's OK. My town taught me important lessons and helped me when I left for school.
College changed me. Thank God. It opened my eyes to a world outside of my town. Different cultures. Different personalities. Different people. College made me stronger, smarter. It made me realize that in the moment things can be amazing. Then, one day, you're walking across the stage at your graduation. Time goes by so fast, and we should make the most of it. I want to experience so many things before I move on to the afterlife. Sorry, that got deep, but it's true.
I want to go to London and see Big Ben in person. I want to go to New York City and stand in Times Square. I want to go to Hawaii and have the craziest adventure. To Cancun, the Maldives, the Bahamas, and Bora Bora and sit on the beach with a drink in my hand. (I'm over 21. Calm down.) I want to go to Los Angeles and see the Hollywood sign. To Arizona and witness how big the Grand Canyon really is. I want to go to Africa and to volunteer and experience the land where my ancestors once lived. The list goes on and on. Australia, Ireland, Rio de Janeiro, Italy, China, the Netherlands, Canada, etc. I want to visit all 50 states. I basically want to get a passport and fill it up completely.
Camila Cabello recently released her self-titled album, Camila. It's absolutely amazing, and I highly recommend you listen to it. She absolutely killed it, and I love every song on the album.
Sorry, I got sidetracked. I was going somewhere with that. Oh yeah, she has a song on the album called, "Real Friends." She released it as a single a couple months before the album's release date, but I didn't listen to it until I listened to the entire album. Now, I'm not saying I don't have any real friends. My friends are amazing. But Camila has a couple lines in the song that inspired me to write this piece.
In the first few verses of the song, Camila talks about how she decides to stay home instead of hanging out with her "friends." She decides to avoid the "Hey, I can't make it tonight" or the "*cough* *cough* I'm sick" conversations. (Bonus points if you got that last reference.)
Then she sings this verse: "This paper town has let me down too many times."
Now before you start making assumptions and calling me a hypocrite, I don't believe my home town let me down. Like I mentioned earlier, I love where I grew up. I loved it all 18 years I spent there, and I love it now. I just always felt like there was more out there. I wanted to experience more. My town was amazing in the fact that it was a great community to raise your family in. A great community to grow up in. However, it always felt tedious. Everyone went to church on Sunday. School or work Monday-Friday. In the fall, the high school had the pep rally before the big home game that night. Saturdays were for rest or hanging out with friends. Then the process repeats itself. I'm not saying there's something wrong with that. Because there's not. I like having a routine because it feels like it makes life more organized. But every now and then I like to shake it up.
In the song, Camila sings another verse that stuck out the most to me when I first heard the song. It also happens to be the pulled quote listed at the beginning of this piece. "Can I run away to somewhere beautiful where nobody knows my name?" Now, I don't want to leave my life behind and create a new identity. That's too much work. But this verse did give me some perspective. The idea of getting away, experiencing new things would be amazing. I've dreamt of it so many times.
It's important for our minds to relax sometimes and reboot. I don't think I've truly allowed myself to do that. And I want to change that.
Towards the end of 2017, I made a vow to myself. I didn't want to call it resolutions because I knew they wouldn't get done. I didn't want to put a time stamp on them either because that would just dissuade me from doing them. So, I called them my 2018 goals. Some include small things, some big and some even bigger. Traveling is one of them. Experiencing new things is one of them. Being out of school has given me more time to think. More time to grow. I know that I won't be able to visit all the places I mentioned in this piece during 2018. But that doesn't mean I'll give up hope. If it means I have to start small and travel to places nearby, then so be it.
I want to appreciate the world around me, and that starts now.
You know I have a Pinterest board for everything. If you would like to take a look at my travel board, you can click here.