Today is New Year's Eve. The last day of 2017. It also happens to be my last day as a 22 year old.
It was always interesting being a New Year's baby. Whenever I was in school, the teacher went around the room and made everyone say a "fun fact" about themselves, (you know what I mean) and I always told people I was born on New Year's Day. It was always exciting to watch the little light in their eyes glow when they heard me say it. It was always, in that instant, that I kinda felt the most special.
I wrote a post earlier this year after my 22nd birthday, and it's crazy how much time has passed. I always heard from my older relatives that once you get older, it seemed like time passes by faster.
In less than 24 hours, I will be another year older and another year wiser. Well, maybe not so much the wiser part. Wait. You know what, never mind. I'm going to give myself more credit than that. I mean, I graduated from college this year. So yeah. I'm definitely another year wiser.
I guess I always liked the idea of telling people when my birthday is, but it was never as exciting when the day came around. I know it's my special day when I wake up a few hours after ringing in the new year, but it never felt like my birthday. Maybe it's because it's a holiday, and technically, I'm sharing it with everyone else. I mean, who else can say people are celebrating the day you were born? Well, I guess that could work for literally anyone born on a holiday... Let me have my moment, would you?
The year 2017 and the age 22 has been the best and hardest year of my life. OK, that sounds a little dramatic, but I mean it. A lot of good things happened. I finished my last semester of college and graduated from my dream university. (And on time. Thank God for that one.) I created some of the best memories with some of the best people. I found my voice and wrote some of the best articles I've ever written. I went on some crazy adventures. (I use the word crazy lightly here.) But I also ran into a couple rough patches.
When I was in school, I thought I would graduate and instantly find a job. If not my dream job, then I thought I'd find one that I could work my way up. That wasn't the case. I had a job that I thought would be a dream starter job disappear. I was turned down or not given a chance from several organizations. And to this last day of 2017, I will be going into the new year without a stable job.
The last seven months have made me reevaluate myself and question my abilities time and time again. I wondered if journalism was the right choice for me. I questioned if I wasted my money and time in college earning the wrong degree. I prayed on several occasions, asking God to send me a sign, to send me a job. It doesn't always work that way.
Going back to a "Quote of the Day" that I posted a couple weeks ago by Fannie Lou Hamer: "You can pray until you faint, but unless you get up and do something, God is not going to put it in your lap." I realized that I lost my drive. The drive that I had seven months ago. The drive that included working two media jobs, managing three writing courses that had story assignments due every week, my other coursework and an internship. I lost my drive to handle business and get things done.
I knew I needed to find that girl if I wanted to make it in this career field because no one is going to come and hand me my dream job . Life doesn't work like that. Out of the several jobs I applied to, one day I received a phone call. I still didn't get the job, but they offered me another. Freelance writer.
Freelancing has opened my eyes to other opportunities I didn't think of. Mainly, because I wanted something stable. I wanted something similar to what The Crimson White gave me. But here's the gag. (Please tell me you got that Keke Palmer reference.) There's only one CW. That can't be replicated. As much as I loved my time in college and working in student media, those are merely memories now. I'm in the "adult" world now, and I have to start making new memories.
I guess I miss having a creative outlet and working with other people who had the same goals and ideas as me. And 2017 made me realize that. I did a lot of realizing because it made me realize things. (Kylie Jenner joke anyone? No? OK.) This year made me grow up a little and made me start thinking about things longterm, so I guess I'm grateful for that.
When I woke up this morning, I did what I do every morning: check my social media. *Insert collective groans from everyone who claims they don't do this* Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm a millennial and proud of it babe. I saw a post from Teen Vogue discussing a study about how the ages 23 and 69 are when people are the happiest.
One: how ironic that 23 is one of the ages and two: how ironic that they posted it the day before I turn 23. Have I mentioned it enough that tomorrow is my birthday, and I'm turning 23? No? Oh, well that's a thing that's happening. I hope 2018 will bring more adventure, more opportunities. I hope to try new things and enjoy life to the fullest because right now I am the youngest I will ever be. That was deep right? Yeah, I know.
So, this is my final farewell to 2017. Thanks for the opportunities. Thnks fr th Mmrs. (Fall Out Boy fans rejoice!) It's time for 2018 to have her moment to shine, and I hope she brings it.